Now Or Never
by tenkage onna
Summary: Most kids have dreams of being stars, but not Yamato. Ever since he was young, a strange boy has haunted his dreams. Just when things are starting to pick up in his life, however, the boy makes a terrifying promise.
1. Chapter 1

warnings: AU, ooc, character death, we'll see what else.  
inspiration: "one day, robots will cry" by cobra starship  
reasons: i waaaanted to?  
rating: T  
pairing: um...yamato/sayama in later chapters, implied ultimo/yamato  
summary:  
disclaimer: not mine, never will be.

ONWAAAARD 8D (runs offcliffbyaccident!!!!) X.x

00000000000

The first time Yamato had ever had the dream, he was maybe ten. A smiling boy, smaller than him, with bouncy steps and fluffed red hair had awaited him. All smiles, he'd instantly set upon tackling the weirded out boy. He babbled quickly, his high pitched voice cooing about how he missed him and that he was so happy he was back. Yamato, for his part, was shocked, and creeped out.

Who was this kid? Why was he talking like they were old friends, when he was certain they'd never met before? Climbing off of Yamato once he'd noticed how stiff the boy was, the redhead had the decency to blush.

"Uru just hasn't seen Yamato-sama in so long. Its been..." he started counting on the oddly large red gauntlets he wore, each finger long and sharp.

Eyes tracing the long sleek edges of the hands, the brunette stared, a sort of panic welling up. The redhead, who addressed himself as Uru, kept counting, running out of fingers and staring blankly. The green of his eyes shown a faint glow, unnatural red peering past the floor to somewheres Yamato could not see. He debated asking the smaller boy if he was alive still when his head sprung up, eyes glittering quickly and a smile on his face.

"Nine centuries, Uru thinks." he said brightly, eyes closing as he scooted closer.

Staring at the redhead oddly, Yamato debated questioning the kid's sanity. No one on earth could be alive for that long, even as young as he was, he knew that. This Uru kid must have some screws loose, he told himself. "What the heck are you talkin' about, weirdo?" he snapped, eye twitching.

Eyes snapping open, the green shimmering quickly, Uru stared at the boy in shock. Then, slowly, tears began to form in the corner of his eyes. "W-What...?"

"Nine centuries? Who are you kidding!" Yamato said, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Who are you anyway! You cant just tackle me!! Whats with you, you're hands are all weird and your clothes!!" he rambled, the shock finally passing.

Uru looked down at his hakama and bib, and his large red gauntlets. Indeed, they were strange. The clothing itself wasn't anything normal people of this era would wear. The redhead sniffled, and wiped at his eyes with the human looking flesh of his arm that wasn't covered. Around his neck, and tied in neat bows was a black bib, poofing out slightly to make his gender almost questionable. His shoulders and upper arms were bare, abruptly being eaten by shiny red metal, the hands it formed too large to possibly be natural.

They looked like they'd be difficult to handle, Yamato thought, watching how the boy moved them easily with little effort. He sniffled again, large green eyes clearing to look blank again, save for that flashing. "I...suppose it makes sense. That WAS a long time ago, and Yamato-sama did die..."

Die? What the hell was he talking about? Glancing up, a tiny smile forming on the otherwise gloomy face, the redhead seemed to take comfort in his confusion. "Uru forgot." he said quietly, a tinge of sorrow in his words.

The next thing he saw was the white of his bedroom ceiling, the same ceiling he'd always seen it felt like. Blinking quickly, the boy sat up quickly, looking around. He saw no red hair, heard no clicking of metal on metal, and certainly no high pitched voices. It must have been a dream, Yamato told himself. His back and arms still ached faintly from the rough tackle, but he figured it was from playing yesterday.

After all, nothing that weird occurred in real life.

His first real experience with Uru was nothing short of strange, as he recalls it. And he'd never been so wrong in his life when he told himself it wouldn't happen twice.

000

"You're back! Uru was afraid you'd never return!"

Yamato blinked quickly, looking around himself. He was back in that strange faint blue world, where the colors were switching and fading slowly, and the only constant seemed to be the redheaded boy. This time, despite the boy's eagerness, he didn't full out tackle Yamato down. Instead he stayed firmly planted on the nonexistent floor, looking like all he wanted was to dart at the brunette.

"Y-You again..." he mumbled, eyes wide.

Uru smiled brightly and took a step towards the older boy. Yamato scrambled to his feet, backing away with every bouncy step. Frowning, the redhead stopped. "Why are you backing away...?"

"Why? Why shouldn't I!" he snapped, glaring at the pouting boy. "You cant be real, this must be some weird dream." he muttered, closing his eyes tightly.

Uru watched Yamato curiously, amused and confused by the reaction. "Uru doesn't think he's seen such an odd Yamato in a long time." he piped up, smiling a little.

Yamato kept his eyes closed. "I'm not odd. Odd is talking to hallucinations!"

"Well Uru isn't one, so then that doesn't make Yamato-sama odd, does it now?" the redhead hummed, closing the distance between the boys. He ducked his head a little, peering up at the in-denial boy through thin dark bangs. He smiled a little more. Uru didn't need to use any fancy powers to know that Yamato was freaking out. The way he fidgeted and stood so stiffly told him well enough.

The redhead waited patiently until his presence unnerved the brunette enough that he'd open his eyes, if only to see what Uru was doing. One dark eye opened slowly, peering down at the ducked and tilted head. It met unnaturally bright green eyes, and closed again. Finally, both eyes opened, watching the smaller boy as calmly as possible.

"What do you want..." he said, voice shaking only a little.

Uru gave him credit, he'd taken his presence far better than the others. He frowned, watching the nervous glint dance across Yamato's eyes. His own eyes flashed a slightly darker green, and he stood up straight. "Uru missed you..." he murmured.

Yamato's eye twitched. "How can you miss someone you never knew?"

"Uru does know you though." he said, completely serious. "We met nine centuries ago. Yamato-sama doesn't remember, but we did."

"No one could live nine centuries straight, genius." Yamato snapped in annoyance.

"You didn't."

The brunette stared at the strange redhead, who suddenly seemed all too disturbing and familiar. He shook his head, turning and beginning to walk away. "Right, whatever psycho. I'm leaving."

"Leaving where?" called a voice, followed by the sound of quiet foot steps.

"Home! Away from YOU!"

The foot steps kept going, sounding louder and louder. "Uru wont go away that easily. Uru's been alone for far too long." came a quiet reply, heavy with what could only be loneliness or sorrow. Something about the tone, the way it was said, told Yamato he should stop. He kept going, ignoring the faint voice that told him he'd regret trying to run from this problem.

The white of his ceiling had never been so comforting before in his life. He stared up at it for what seemed like years, just wondering if maybe he'd been wrong in his assumption. He still had the bruises from the week prior, and he could still feel a soft but piercing gaze on himself. After a while of just staring, Yamato sat up, glancing at his alarm clock. It read four forty eight, far too early for him to be up and about. But he'd be damned if he'd go to sleep again after that dream.

00000

When Yamato's mother noticed the bags that were slowly growing under her son's eyes she had been about to leave for work. The brunette was just sitting slumped over, eying his half eaten cereal blankly. He'd been up when she went to see if he was awake, but he looked like he hadn't slept at all. Slowing her pace, she hummed to herself.

"You look like you're dead. Whats wrong?" she asked, tone flat.

Blinking slowly, then quickly, the boy realized his mother had spoken. "Wha...?" he groaned, sitting up a little and scrubbing his eye.

Fushimi turned to look at Yamato, annoyed and partly worried. "I asked what was wrong."

Yamato was quiet, staring off into space. For a moment, the woman debated snapping at him or just turning and leaving. She didn't have the patience to deal with someone who wasn't even coherent. She glanced at the watch under her coat sleeve, eyes following the ticking hand. Turning, she sighed heavily, eyes narrowed at the door to their apartment. She hated that door. She hated this place even more. She needed to go to work, so she wouldn't ever have to stay here again.

Just as the blond woman reached the door, a quiet and partially slurred voice called. "Mom...do you ever...have weird dreams? Like...when you feel awake but...you know you aren't?"

Pausing, Fushimi turned her head slightly to eye her son. "What?" she snapped, impatient.

Head hanging slightly, Yamato glanced his his soggy breakfast. "I keep having this dream...of this weird boy who says I died, and that he knows me..." he confessed, as if he had a flesh eating disease.

The woman frowned a little. "Its just a dream. Dreams aren't real. Just don't pay them any mind." he stopped her for this?

The brunette flinched a little, but nodded absently. He could tell from the tone in his mother's voice that she wasn't in the mood for him or his problems, and wisely kept silent. When the door clicked shut, he eyed his cereal dully, not in the least bit hungry. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see a brief flash of color, or hear a fleeting hum. For last week, he'd been visiting that strange place every time he slept.

At first Yamato had ignored Uru, or walked out of the dream, but it was only a matter of time before he realized the redhead wasn't going to let him be. Even if he just sat there and ignored the redhead's existence, it wasn't like Uru didn't make himself known. He'd babble at him, hug him, tell him odd stories or even just sit there and hum. But he never simply left Yamato alone.

Yamato had decided: if Uru wouldn't leave him be, he'd simply avoid the cause of this. So he stopped going to sleep. It was hard, he always found himself drifting off, even if for only a minute. For those few minutes he slept, he received a hug or a wave, maybe even a prod. Usually Uru would be ecstatic, but eventually realized what time it was and urge the boy to wake up. When Yamato did, he would be worse than before he slept.

It was becoming difficult to hide the lack of sleep, or keep up with school and his friends. He'd have to figure something out soon, he thought groggily, standing up and carrying his bowl to the sink. The brunette splashed his face with water a few times, trying to force himself to be more alert. Only a little more, he told himself. Just until he figured something out or that creepy redhead vanished from his dreams.

0000

The dreams be came more and more frequent as the hours passed it seemed. Now, after only two weeks, he could HEAR him talk. No, Yamato corrected himself as he watched his teacher blankly, talk wasn't the right word. It wasn't in full sentences, or even thought processes, but snippets and words. From nowhere, words or phrases would pop into mind, distracting and baffling. It could be as simple as "hungry" or as complex as a proverb, and rarely did Yamato feel they fit the situation at hand.

What told him they weren't his own thoughts, was that usually they didn't pertain to him, and he usually never heard half the strange proverbs or phrases. Once he'd even heard the strangest song, one he was certain he hadn't known prior to the song. Said song was currently stuck in his head, repeating itself every few dozen minutes or so. Humming it quietly under his breathe, the brunette gazed blankly at the chalkboard, which was covered in notes he ought to be taking. He was just so tired though...he hadn't slept in days, nay, a full week almost (excluding ten minute long naps in class of course.).

There was a gentle but insistent prodding to his right, dragging Yamato from his thoughts. He turned his attention to the smaller boy, an almost over sized pair of glasses perched upon his small nose. Wide eyes studied his tired face, concern written all over Lune's face. "Are you okay...? You haven't looked so well all week..." he whispered.

What could he say to that? No, I'm being stalked by a strange redhead in my dreams, y'know like Freddy? Well he's been talking about how I've been dead, and how he misses me, so you see, I just haven't slept in almost two weeks. Thats all. Yamato knew that would blow over just _fabulously_. He shrugged absently, mumbling back. "Just haven't been sleeping..."

"Nightmares?" Lune questioned, blinking. "Was it the one about the pink elephant again? Yamato, you need to get over that, elephants aren't pink an-"

"NO!" he hissed, eye twitching. "Its not the pink elephant. That was years ago, I thought you said you wouldn't ever mention it again..."

The blond shifted a little, glancing away in mild shame. "Well it seemed plausible..."

The two lapsed into silence again, half fearful of the teacher, half uneasy. It was a sticky subject, the blond could understand. Whatever had kept his friend up for so long couldn't be anything short of hellish. Or, he assumed so. The pink elephant sure hadn't been. Strange, because honestly, what was so scary about being stuck in a room with a pink elephant that could sing in Scottish? Or the purple dragon and the black out? Maybe it really wasn't that bad, Lune thought with a sigh.

When he glanced back over to tease his taller, and usually more violent, friend, he noted he was asleep. Arms folded under his head, it looked almost like he planned to do so. Making a face, as this wasn't so odd nowadays, Lune just turned back to the board.

It wasn't five minutes later that a shriek resonated through the classroom, followed by a loud crash. Everyones attention snapped to Yamato, who was staring at Lune in horror with a dark red blush running across his face. It was quiet for a long moment, the blond boy watching his friend in confusion and concern. After a moment, the brunette blinked, and realization dawned on his face.

"Agari-kun?" the teacher called, concern all over her face.

Standing up quickly, the brunette looked like he'd never been more embarrassed in his life. "Y-Yeah?" he called back, voice just a bit too loud.

The woman's frown deepened. "Are you okay? Would you like to go to the nurse?"

Shaking his head quickly, looking at his feet in mortification, Yamato replied in the same loud tone. "N-No!! I'm fine, uh..." he quickly took his seat, staring at his desktop like he wanted it to eat him alive. Lune watched his taller friend in concern, waiting until the teacher had resumed her class --albeit awkwardly-- before he made any move to speak.

"Are you okay? What happened?" he whispered.

Blinking quickly, the boy felt his heart rate pick up, and he felt the urge to bang his head. "Uh...it was um...nothing."

The blond was unimpressed with the lie. "You just shrieked and fell from your chair. SOMETHING was wrong...was it...the purple dra-"

Yamato glared darkly, and shook a fist. "You said you wouldn't mention THAT _either!_" he whisper yelled.

Flinching away only a little, Lune pouted. "It seemed plausible..." he muttered.

They lapsed into silence, to which the brunette was thankful for. He wasn't sure he could ever live with himself if anyone else ever found out. But Lune wasn't finished it seemed. Honestly, the blond was just so curious, because little else than Sayama could fluster Yamato this badly. So naturally, he wanted to know what it was. "You can tell me...I wont tell anyone else." he whispered, leaning over a little.

A moment went by, and Lune debated re-asking, before Yamato headesked. He mumbled quietly, "It was...a weird dream...and I..."

Lune could see the tips of the boy's ears go red, even though he looked like he wanted to die. "Eh? You mean...one of _those_ dreams?" Yamato was silent, but he went stiff. Rolling his eyes, amused, the blond fought the urge to laugh. "Thats perfectly normal for a boy our age. Whats so bad about it?"

A mumble.

The smaller boy frowned, leaning forward. "What?"

Another mumble, slightly louder. But it was still too quiet, and Lune found himself growing mildly impatient. "_What_?"

"IT WAS A BOY!!!"

The room fell silent, everyone stopping to stare at the beet red faced brunette, who had yelled the confession. Lune stared, shocked, and half embarrassed for his friend, who had just realized he'd shouted something like that. Eyes widening, Yamato felt the indescribable urge to bash his head into his desk, which would hopefully eat him. It did no such thing, leaving the brunette to suffer the awkward whispers and snickers.

The teacher slowly turned back to the board, brushing it off the best she could. As the lesson continued, there was a quiet, but distinct, sound of a head hitting a desk repeatedly.

0000000

the last bit was for humor mostly D8 (theres a point to it though) there is a small joke about the purple dragon. my photo teacher was giving us an example XD "you need light for photos; so say you were in a room with this purple dragon, and you decided to take a picture of it. but then the lights go out, and you take the picture anyway! after you get out, you see nothing but a black square, and you cant retake the picture, because the dragon vanished during the blackout!" is pretty much where it came from.

aaaand theres a reason i keep addressing ultimo as uru (not just cuz it sounds cute) but cuz yamato doesnt know his name yet. so yeah. (isshot)

thaaaat aside, this chapter is so out!


	2. Chapter 2

and it updates!! you guys can thank the song "lets hear it for rock bottom" for this actually getting done. it inspired me so much, and it rules imo. (thinks) ah! also, thank you all for reading and faving and such so far! reviews or not, i really appreciate the fact people are interested.

warning: AU, oocish, very slight emoness.  
inspiration: "lets hear it for rock bottom" by the offspring  
disclaimer: stiiiill isnt mine XD

forgive me btw, i was writing most of this when i was hooked on another pairing. you can probably guess it XD i tried to keep it as backgroundish as possible, but er...anyway, onward! i hope you enjoy!

00000

The bags grew as the sleepless nights continued on. Ever since the incident in class, Yamato simply refused to sleep at all. He'd tolerated the naps, he couldn't avoid those, but not after that. It had been almost a full three days since he'd felt phantom lips press against his own, and the floor underneath him after he'd fallen. The looks and snickers he got when he passed kids in the halls had followed the brunette for all three days, driving the boy up a wall slowly.

He couldn't take this.

Why was this even happening? What had even triggered these weird dreams? Did he eat something weird? Yamato knew he wasn't the best cook, and he'd had to eat his own cooking many times when his mother worked late, but no matter the poisoning he'd never had dreams like these. So why? It was becoming a question he hated. He made a fool of himself over this dream one too many times.

As per usual, Yamato yawned as he walked down the familiar pathway to school. Soon, Lune would show up, and the blond would probably yack his brains out about something or other. He never understood why he was so excited to see Yamato, but he never really payed it much attention. No phantom sounds or tunes popped into mind, something the brunette wasn't sure if he was happy about. He knew Uru wasn't gone, because when he passed by any reflective surface, a wave of crushing depression would hit him.

"If he's not gone, where is he...." he mumbled, squinting a little to get the street back in focus.

"Wheres who?"

Jumping, Yamato turned quickly to look at his smaller friend, who had just showed up. Lune blinked, adjusting his too-large glasses and tilting his head a little. "What? Whats wrong?"

"Don't just appear like that!" Yamato snapped, huffing and crossing his arms as he walked off.

Lune frowned and hurried after the boy. When he was decently caught up, he replied, "But I called you! Three times!" he raised a hand, ticking off his fingers.

Yamato made a face. "Uhuh..." was he really that tired? Well, the street WAS awfully wavy today, and his feet didn't seem to want to move correctly. Suppressing a yawn, he shoved back the aching need to sleep. Why did sleep deprivation have to hurt so much? The boy next to him was quiet, a rarity it seemed. He seemed like he was drawn between something, but what, Yamato couldn't force himself to care.

"Y-You know...!" Lune piped up, glancing up so that the soon reflected off his glasses. Yamato blinked, turning towards him as they walked. The added attention seemed to make the blond falter, but it was temporary. "Its really not that bad...I-I mean about the boy thing." he fumbled for his words, glancing down quickly.

"Wha...?"

"T-That sort of thing is pretty common I hear, and its probably just your mind playing tricks, so you shouldn't worry so much, I mean, I-I-"

"Lune, what the heck are you talking about?" the brunette snapped, honestly confused beyond all belief. Where did this come from?

The smaller boy was quiet, staring at his feet as if he expected them to eat him. Yamato debated just dropping the subject, and would have, had Lune not spoken up again. "Well...ever since that day in class, you've been acting weird." He scrunched up his nose, then shook his head. "Weirder than normal." he added on quickly. The brunette debated hitting him for a moment.

"Mnot weird..."

"But you have been since class...I figured it was because of...well, your dream." he summed up lamely.

"Its cuz mtired. Not weird, or cuz some dream..." the annoyed brunette snapped, half afraid of where that assumption was going. The other half was just too tired to want to hear this sort of thing right now. The two lapsed into silence, the air around them almost tense. Lune didn't mention the dream again.

000

The words haunted Yamato for the rest of the morning. All through home room and math, and then most of science, Lune's words just stuck to him. No matter what he tried to do, his drowsy mind didn't seem to be able to deviate from them. It kept reminding him of the dream, of Uru, of so many weird things. And the more he thought, the more the brunette began to worry. If Uru and himself HAD known each other at a time, what exactly had they been? surely the redhead didn't kiss him for no reason.

"What does it matter what we WERE...it doesn't have to mean we're it NOW." he told himself firmly, glaring at the bathroom sink.

Sometime during science, he'd gotten sink. Yamato remembered why he hated throwing up, and mourned the loss of his light breakfast. Lately, he was always so hungry, but if he ate too much -more than an inch of cereal- he'd get sick, and he didn't know WHY. As if on cue, because not even getting sick seemed to stop it, his stomach sounded off a loud growl. Wincing, he tried to ignore it. Lunch was just a little away, he could wait.

The wait was agonizing, and if he had anything in him left to vomit up, Yamato would have by now from the sheer pain. He'd never been so happy to hear the lunch bell ring before in his life. The food settled heavily in his queasy stomach, instantly upsetting it again, but the brunette ignored the pain. If he didn't eat now, he'd starve until he got home, and he still had some things to do before then.

Just because he was sleep deprived and disturbed didn't mean Yamato had let his social life just fall to pieces. He did his best to hang out with his friends, and be interested whenever Sayama spoke, even if through most of the day he just wanted to pass out. It was probably why people didn't ask him if he was okay very often. When he could distract himself, it wasn't a problem to stay awake.

It had almost been a full week, a mere two days from the finish line. Saturday was just around the corner when it happened. Yamato hadn't been feeling well since he'd started staying up, frequently getting what felt like fevers. Every time he moved it ached, and it felt difficult to breathe. He'd given up trying to make his hair look neat and clean, because no matter how often he washed it, it always looked dirty.

Everyone was questioning him, from the dark bags under his eyes to his unhealthy skin color. Even his mother was paying him more attention. Not that she didn't normally, but it was just strange to get so much attention. Uru hadn't contacted him in any way in the week that had nearly passed. Not a hum nor a slight depression hit the tired boy. Yamato, for his part, would have been ecstatic if just getting excited didn't make him want to puke.

000

A heavy tiredness clung even in this strange pale blue realm. For once, Yamato didn't arrive standing, but laying down. Righting himself into a sitting position was harder than normal, and when he'd managed it, everything began to spin frantically. Grasping his mouth, the brunette forced down the sickness that began to swell in his chest, squeezing his eyes closed to block out the sight. What was going on?

"You're sick." came a quiet reply.

It took only a moment to place a face and a name to the voice. Snapping his head up, Yamato caught sight of a red blur, opening his mouth to cry out. "YOU!"

Just as quickly as he'd moved, the nausea had almost boiled over, forcing the boy to shut his mouth lest he puke. Uru sighed heavily, sitting a dozen or so feet away from Yamato. He made no move to close the distance between the two, only watching the other boy with sad eyes. "Don't move too much...Yamato-sama will get sick."

Get sick? Wasn't he already? The blue world's twisting slowed and calmed only a little, a thick and tense silence filling the area. Yamato thought maybe, if he had a knife, he could cut it in half. He hadn't had such a tense silence in a long time. Glancing up slowly at the redhead, he frowned. He was asleep, and Uru had summoned him here. But what for? What was with that sad expression? It must be important, he thought.

"It is." the smaller male's voice cut through the silence, quiet and small but loud in the room.

"E-Eh?"

"It is important." Uru specified, looking drawn. "Yamato-sama got sick, because he hasn't slept for a long time." looking down at his odd red hands, he wrung the material of his hakama with them. "You cant do that..." he whispered.

Blinking, Yamato narrowed his eyes. "Cant do what? Not sleep? Its fine, isn't it? So long as you don't-"

"ITS NOT FINE!" the redhead cried.

The brunette jumped, staring at the boy as if he had ten heads. He debated on what to say to that, because Uru had never yelled at him before. Looking up, large green eyes dotted with tears, the redhead glared. "Its NOT fine at all! You got very sick! If you kept this up much longer, you would have DIED!"

Died. The word hit Yamato like a sack of bricks, stopping his breath. "D-Died? No way..."

"Its true." Uru snapped, then looked away, glare softening. "Yamato-sama could have died...I don't want you to die, not over something like this!" he said, voice shaky even as he said this, like he wanted to retract the words. "Uru couldn't stand it if Yamato-sama died because of something like a kiss! I-If you really don't want to see me again, Uru will go! Anything, just....just so long as..."

Yamato stared at the boy who haunted his dreams for so long, disbelieving of what he was hearing. Uru would leave? He could sleep without fear? The redhead tensed up, eyes downcast and a frown marring his face. He looked miserable. But honestly? Yamato didn't care that much. Sleep. Peace of mind. These were things that he cared about. Not some strange boy who probably didn't exist.

There was a bitter laugh, quiet and shaky. It was the last thing he heard before his ceiling came into view, stark white and such a relief to see. The scent of something warm and salty wafted through the room, combined with something damp on his forehead. Blinking sluggishly, Yamato glanced to his side, surprised to see a vacant chair next to his bed and the sound of quiet talking in the next room.

Everything sounded foggy and distant, but he could swear it was his mother. "Yes...I wont be in today. My son is..."

Something in the back of his mind snapped, probably reality. His mother, calling in sick? How sick WAS he? His heart jumped into his throat when he heard quiet footsteps pad towards his room. He didn't remember getting sick, he hadn't heard his mother call in sick in years. It felt just a little unreal, especially coupled with the dream he'd just had.

Brushing a strand of blond hair from her face, Fushimi sighed to herself. Entering Yamato's room, she was surprised to see him awake. "You should be sleeping." she mumbled, walking into the room more.

He was quiet, unsure of what to say. The blond woman took a seat next to him, sighing heavily. She watched him in mild irritation, crossing her arms over her chest. He stared back, eyes glassy and heavy lidded despite just waking up. A moment went by before Fushimi said a word. Her voice was heavy with exhaustion, eyes closing as she massaged her forehead.

"Well...you really outdid yourself." she muttered. Yamato waited for her to explain what she meant. The woman just watched the brunette for a moment, before continuing. "You passed out in class. You had - HAVE- a ridiculously high fever. That was yesterday."

A high fever? He DID feel warm...blinking slowly, Yamato processed this. He only vaguely remembered hearing someone call his name before Uru's familiar voice filtered in, then darkness. It felt like only minutes ago, hours at the longest. But the alarm clock near his head read eleven thirty, a dead give away that it had been more than a few hours.

Uru's words flitted through his mind, sluggish as they were. _"You got very sick! If you kept this up much longer, you would have DIED!" _He thought for a long moment, putting the pieces together the best he could. It had been true. Why he was surprised, he wasn't sure. The redhead had frightening accuracy when he told him things. His silence didn't seem to surprise his mother any, the woman heaving another sigh.

"Supposedly, this was caused by lack of sleep." Fushimi said, eying the heavy bags under Yamato's eyes. Those sort of bags shouldn't be on kids. Unconsciously, she absently rubbed at the slight bags under her own eyes. Her mind flitted back to when the boy had tried to tell her about his dreams, the same day she had noticed how zombie like he was. She'd brushed it off, because what kid was ever awake and chipper in the morning? She couldn't help but feel...guilty.

The word was almost ripped from the depths of her mind, because Fushimi hardly ever felt guilty. But there it was, and she found she couldn't entirely meet Yamato's eyes now. Yamato glanced away from his mother, a pit forming in his stomach. So this was his fault? No, it was Uru's. It wasn't his fault that the redhead kept sleep at bay. It was definitely Uru's fault.

000

It had been the first time in weeks that Yamato had slept a full night. He didn't wake up until well into the morning. Hiding his face in his pillow, the brunette groaned, trying to block the sunlight that filtered into his room. His heavy eyelids stung for sleep, but there was a painful twisting in his stomach. Recognizing before he even recognized where he was, Yamato fought the urge to heave a sigh. He wasn't sure if he'd puke if he did sigh anyway.

Kicking at his bedsheets, which was no small feat, he dragged himself from the warm mattress and trekked to the kitchen. He was surprised to see his mother home, least of all in the kitchen heating -what appeared to be- breakfast up. Yamato stood in the doorway, blinking sluggishly as he watched the woman remove the plate from the microwave and set it down where he normally sat.

Yamato just stared for a long moment.

"Aren't you going to sit down and eat?" his mother snapped.

His stomach sounded off painfully on cue, and he swallowed, stepping towards the table quickly. The first few bites went down without any thought behind them, only to fill the space in his gut. It wasn't until the pain began to die down that he actually began to taste his food. Yesterday, he'd thrown up before he'd really digest anything. He hadn't really held down his food for a while, now that he thought about it. It made the woman's cooking taste that much better.

The weekend passed with little change from this routine, sleep being all Yamato even cared about for the first few days. His dreams were, to his relief, free of Uru and his blue realm. If anything, they were painfully blank.

000

School was different now that he wasn't watching through a thick fog. Yamato found he was clueless about most of what the teacher even said, let alone what he'd even learned. For the first ten minutes of class, he'd stared blankly at the woman as if she had thirty heads, pencil in his motionless hand. When the next class had rolled along, he found his notebook painfully blank, save for random doodles he'd started to pass the hour of bordem.

Another class began to go by, Yamato clueless yet again. It was becoming annoying quickly, and he wished he'd payed more attention. Letting his head thunk against the desk, he repressed a groan. Was every class going to be like this? And there were tests coming up...and work he had to make up...The brunette's hope sank a little more every time he remembered how bad his grades probably were. His mom would kill him...

There was a prod at his side, familiar and a sense of deja vu hit Yamato. He turned to glance at Lune, who gestured to his notebook, filled with papers and letters and lines of words. "I'll let you copy them after class." he whispered.

"REALLY!?" the brunette cried, forgetting where he was.

The blond had a vague blush of embarrassment cover his face, and the brunette realized he'd just spoken so loud. He ducked his head, feeling like an idiot. The teacher, used to the boy's random interruptions, just sighed and pretended she hadn't heard it. The sound of chalk tapping the board continued once again, and the class ignored the two again.

Once he felt it safe, Lune replied. "Really...you were really out of it for a while. I'll help you."

A wave of relief rushed over the brunette, almost crushing. A wide smile split his face and he collapsed on his desk, sighing dramatically, though he kept it quiet. "Thanks!!" he whispered back.

The blond smiled a little to himself, glasses catching the light. "Y-You're welcome."

School passed slowly, the notes Lune provided making the classes seem a little more understandable. It was still a grueling process to connect all the dots and keep up without constantly looking at his own scratchy handwriting. By lunchtime, the brunette was ready to sleep. The three days of sleep didn't seem like they were enough, despite that the heavy bags under his eyes were starting to fade.

Food tasted amazing, no matter how routine the meal was. There was no mad dash to leave the room before anyone noticed the green tinge in his face after Yamato ate either. It was a relief, among many other things. He could actually keep up with what his friends said, picking up on all the things he'd missed. Apparently it wasn't anything big, aside from Oume having a crush on someone and the sneaky jibes that were shot at Lune. Both blonds would blush, and for a moment, Yamato wondered if the two reasons were connected.

When he'd asked about it, the group went quiet, Oume looking at him like he'd just said the stupidest thing in the world. It was short lived though, the blond male quickly changing the subject. The odd occurrence left his memory faster than Uru's existence seemingly had.

It made Yamato wonder for the first time in days. Where HAD Uru gone? He couldn't be gone right? He'd vanished after their first meeting, he remembered. Was he just away for the moment? Or was this really permanent? The question stayed in his mind for the rest of the day, almost haunting him. But when he fell asleep, no dreams of the weird redhead came.

He couldn't have been happier.

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AHA. this probably moved a bit too fast huh? ah well...i was never very good with filler, sadly. there shall be more, hopefully more drawn out. i dont know why i was so impatient with this D8;; probably cuz i just haaaate writing filler...eh, my whining ceases~ (thinks) what do i need to cover...oume, you guys remember her right? the scary blond girl who punched yamato? and spazzed to kiyose and akitsu about the bus explosion? tada.

interesting fact: did you know sleep deprivation is used as a way to cure depression? doesnt work that well, cuz the moment you get enough sleep again it kinda backfires but still. and the longest, i think, anyones been proven to stay up was eighteen days and seventeen hours. this was done by a person by the name of jim thomas.

the more you learn~ most people would die from staying up that long...idk why exactly, but i do know lack of sleep lowers your immune system alot.

anyway, enough of that weirdness XD


	3. Chapter 3

warning: AU, oocish, crack  
inspiration: "Lets hear it for rock bottom" by the offspring, and "get over it" by OK go  
rating: pg  
disclaimer: not mine, never shall be~!

very dramatic much? it gets worse XD i'm sorry this took so long, i lost interest in the idea for a little while...but thankfully, i'm back on the pairing kick, so it should be okayish for now. anywayz, i hope you all enjoy this overdue chapter!

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It crushed him like a boulder. It buried his common sense and peace of mind like an avalanche. Nothing but a sickening sense of fear remained after the initial words, which held him in a vice grip. Staring across the blue realm, in the seven years he'd known it, it had never been so suffocating before. Yamato blinked, telling himself he hadn't heard that clearly. There must be something in his ears, he must be high or sick, because there was NO way, NEVER a way, that Uru would say something like that.

The redhead smiled at him, eyes lighting up in joy. "So Uru was right. Thats why you wouldn't come with him."

"No, thats not it at all!" I have to lie, make him think otherwise! He couldn't ever let that happen to her, he refused to allow Uru to endanger her. "Its cuz I just don't wanna die!" Yamato defended, eyes narrowed and heart pounding.

The smile never left once, it only grew. "Uru knows what you're really thinking." the redhead sang. "Its because of HER. Uru can fix that."

000

The sun was low in the sky, the dying rays casting the world in shades of gold and orange. Days had gone by, every day a little more of the dream world vanished from Yamato's mind. He hardly thought of Uru, and he was happy about that. The less he had to deal with the boy, the better. The brunette just wanted a normal life, one he could share with friends and enjoy. And Uru was far from normal.

He grinned a little, adjusting his grip on the swing set. Next to him was Lune, as per usual, kicking at the wood chips. His strange new pink shoes dug in a little, the white soles dusty with dirt.

"What're you grinning about?" he asked curiously, taking note of the brunette's odd behavior as of late. He seemed so much more...perky. It was strange.

"Nothin nothin." Yamato replied, grin still in place.

Lune was unconvinced, but let it drop. It had been a long time since he'd seen the brunette so happy. The sound of clinking chains and chatter filled the playground, and everything was at ease. Parents returned from work, and eventually the few children still out left. Lune left as well, waving a goodbye and promising to help Yamato study for the test in a few days.

Sitting on the swing set, Yamato debated going up the stairs and home. It was getting dark out, but he didn't want to go just yet. There were still adults going up the stair well, a few waving at him, most just mindlessly climbing with tired legs. They reminded him he was getting tired to, and he sighed heavily. Yamato let the swing come a stop, digging his heels into the wood chips and hopping off when it was slow enough.

Up and up the stairs seemed to go, and he wondered if they could go up any higher than his own floor. After he reached the locked apartment door, he dug around for his key, cheering silently when he found it. He quickly unlocked the door, hurrying inside and paused. Something felt...off. Frowning, Yamato wondered what it could be. Maybe he was just tired? That was probably it, he decided.

After the week of restful sleep, the bags under his eyes were all but gone, only a light grayish purple reminding him of the sleepless nights that brought them. Even so, he still felt oddly...tired. Maybe it wasn't so odd, he thought. He had been awake for so long, right? It was probably normal to be so sleepy after that. The rest of the night went by normally, not a hint of that strange feeling from before showing its head twice.

It was soon forgotten.

000

The overwhelming sadness crushed him almost. It was so sudden, Yamato hardly had time to realize where he was or what was going on. Even if he'd had the time, he couldn't tell anyway, he couldn't see. Thick black drops and indigo melded together in a pool that seemed to be everywhere, the brunette's head sinking below the harsh waves often. But the few times he chanced a glance over the choppy waves, he'd sworn he'd seen...a flash of red.

It was only a flash though, and Yamato wasn't sure it had even been there to begin with. Kicking and flailing, he tried to keep above the waves, but the thick dark substance was liking Jello. He just couldn't move quickly enough or seem to make any progress, the surface gradually vanishing as his strength did as well. Soon, all Yamato could see were blobs of blue and black, his lungs failing him shortly after. The futility of the situation at hand was frustrating, almost as frustrating as this deep sadness he couldn't place.

He woke up gasping, desperate to get the smothering substance from his lungs. Pausing his gagging, the brunette realized there wasn't anything to cough up. He stared at his bedspread, eyes wide and face clammy with sweat. A dream...it was just a dream. More like a nightmare, he thought bitterly, raising a hand to scrub at his damp cheeks.

Yamato stopped and pulled his hand back quickly, staring at it like it was diseased. Raising it again, he carefully prodded his eyes, twitching slightly when he felt dampness that was NOT sweat there. When did he start crying? WHY? How weird...Weirder still was that dream. What was up with that? He'd never had such a horrible dream. That smothering feeling, the drowning...

But what was worse, was how real it felt. Maybe _too_ real. And it brought back memories from a few weeks prior. Yamato's mind flitted to the flash of red, and wondered if there was a connection. No, Uru had told him he would leave him alone. He was too honest and nice it seemed, he wouldn't lie or try to kill him.

Right?

Yamato wasn't so sure.

000

"Yamato, wake up!"

Groaning, the brunette sat up in his seat a little. Lune sighed, watching his friend with a frown. "If you don't stay awake, I cant help you study."

Yamato nodded drowsily, biting back a yawn. "Right..."

The blond pouted for a moment longer before turning his attention back to the notes between them. He'd promised to help with the make up tests Yamato had to take, but the brunette just wouldn't stay awake. He kept dozing off, and Lune's patience was slowly vanishing. Yamato, for his part, was honestly trying to stay awake. The words on the paper were swimming, and he just couldn't seem to keep his eyes open...

Glancing up from the books, the blond bit his lip. "Whats wrong? Stay up too late?"

Yamato shrugged, not sure if he should go into it. "Sorta..."

Silence draped itself over the two. Lune watched the other, concerned. Yamato had looked a little disturbed all day. What could be causing it? "You can tell me if you want...I'll listen."

"Its...weird." the brunette said, frowning and uneasy.

"Couldn't be weirder than your boy dream." he teased.

The brunette shot Lune a look. "You promised you'd never mention that again...!" he groaned.

Lune fought back a smile at the familiar response. Yamato huffed, sulking in his chair dramatically with a blush and muttered to himself. Relaxing a little under the more comfortable silence, the brunette glanced at his friend nervously. He'd always told him secrets before. Lune was the first one who knew about his crush on Sayama, or that embarrassing dream about the drunken pink elephant. He'd never made fun of him past the first ten minutes of laughing. It'd be fine, right?

Shifting in his seat, the brunette eyed his half eaten lunch and began to mess with it. He stirred his spoon through the strange soup, and frowned. "Promise you wont tell anyone? Or laugh?" he mumbled, glancing up at the blond.

Blinking quickly, Lune nodded. "I promise."

"Do you swear on the life of your pink sneakers?"

He gulped. "Y-Yes..."

"Or the life of your pink coat-?"

"Is this about that boy dream?" the blond asked, desperate to save his other articles of variously shaded pink clothing.

Yamato went stiff, eye twitching. "It has something to do with that." he said in a noncommittal tone.

Making a face, Lune opened his mouth to question him further, but was cut off abruptly by the bell. Glaring up at the ceiling, the blond cursed its timing. Yamato let out a relieved sigh, though he was a little disappointed. He'd been hoping to get it off of his chest. Moving the desks back in order, the class resumed and Yamato and Lune got nothing done study wise or confession wise.

The rest of the day proceeded with the same sluggish pace it had started with. By third period, Yamato had passed out on his text book, much to the teacher's annoyance. A total of three pieces of chalk, one eraser and a notebook later, she'd managed to wake him up, only to have him fall back asleep. Across the room, Oume snickered at him.

000

Eye twitching, Fushimi stared at the paper and tried to debate if this was better than the other grades. Yamato often brought back fifties, maybe a lucky seventy, but a forty...She tried to think if that was considered a good grade for him. He had explained the grade was mostly due to the fact that he hadn't been awake in class for two weeks.

"The guilt trip, eh..." she mumbled in annoyance.

She watched him play with his strange little blond friend outside from the living room window. The two were playing some strange form of tag, and laughing loud enough that she could hear them all the way from here. Watching them, she realized that until recently, she hadn't heard her son really laugh since he'd stopped sleeping. Hand still clutching the paper, the bright red forty percent all but jumping off the page, she sighed.

"How can I be pissed off when he laughs like that..." Fushimi said to herself.

At least he laughed now. The guilt ebbed away when he did. Nothing could really compare to the guilt a parent felt when they ignored their child's problem. She was just glad it was starting to go away.

000

A loud crash echoed from the bathroom, startling the blond woman. Frowning, Fushimi stood and hurried to the door, knocking on the barrier. "Yamato, are you okay?"

Inside the room, the boy stared long and hard at his reflection, horror spread over his face. He paid the raps no mind, focused on the faint flashing of color inside the mirror, which were hauntingly familiar. The sink faucet was running, but he couldn't look at the water, which was a deep blue that filled the basin quickly and sloshed slowly like blood.

Finally, the door was shoved open, and Yamato was forced to look away as his mother shook him frantically. "Yamato? Are you okay? Whats wrong? What happened?"

Blinking quickly, the boy realized he hadn't responded at all. Glancing away from the woman, he watched the faucet gush almost black water. Fushimi didn't seem to notice it, or the color. She did notice the shattered glass on the tiled floor though. "What happened?" she demanded again.

"D-Don't you see the water!?" he cried, eyes wide and confused.

The woman blinked and frowned. She glanced at the water, but saw nothing amiss. "What are you talking about? What about the water?"

"Its black! Its black, don't you see?!"

"No, I don't." Fushimi said, confused. "Its not black. Did you get into the pill cabinet again?" she asked, voice lowering.

Yamato look frustrated, and snapped back, "No I didn't! It is though, I-" he looked back and stopped abruptly.

The water was clear again. There was no slow swish to it, only choppy waves as the water began to rise higher. He stared, disbelief covering his face as he watched it. "But...it was...." he fumbled for the words, confused and outraged that it dared to change now.

Holding back a long sigh, Fushimi ran a hand through her hair and stood. "No, it wasn't. Maybe you swallowed too much toothpaste." she mumbled, turning off the faucet with a quick twist.

"I didn't!!" Yamato cried, grimacing. He hadn't washed his mouth out yet, and the taste of the toothpaste drove him up a wall. It was too minty and bitter.

"Right..." his mother sighed. "I'm going to bed now. Be sure to clean up the glass, dont cut yourself."

She left without another word, confused and annoyed. Yamato watched her leave, a deep frown settled on his face. He looked down at the shattered glass, and mumbled to himself, setting about the task of carefully picking it up. He could swear he'd seen black water. He hadnt bothered to mention the flickering face in the mirror, because something told him only he could see it to begin with. Yamato had little doubt of who it was.

000

The next day, Yamato plunked down in his seat tiredly. He closed his eyes, tired but unable to sleep. After last night, his peace of mind vanished. He couldn't prove a thing, but that face in the mirror could only belong to one person. And after the full week of peace, the sudden appearance scared him, especially with how it happened. What would Uru need to do something so dramatic for?

Was it even Uru? Who could say Yamato wasn't just losing it. Black water that no one saw, faces in the mirror? Definitely the signs of insanity. And if he was insane, he couldn't tell anyone! They'd definitely ship him away! The brunette couldn't lie, the whole affair was frightening. And what was worse, was the steadily forming cloud that seemed to hang over his head.

Thankfully, school distracted Yamato well enough, that by the time it ended, he'd almost forgotten his problem. He couldn't help but worry though as he climbed the steps of his apartment complex. What if he WAS crazy? He didn't want to debate that...

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(headesks) sorry it took so long, i lost interest to some degree...hopefully, this'll make up for that for now?


End file.
